Dating men with trust issues

Most of the information I have found on the internet dealing with divorced men pertains to issues surrounding the recently divorced, and most of the information about cheating has to do with divorced men who cheat, not men who were the cheatees rather than the cheaters. All you have to do is look at it from another angle.

Do you have any general advice for a (never married) woman dating a long-divorced man who has trust issues going back 16 years to an unfaithful first wife? If you were ever cheated upon, what would your partner have to do to convince you that he’s safe?

My boyfriend seems to be VERY obsessed with never allowing anything like that to happen to him again, and is easily upset by any talk of men I dated before him, even though all of those relationships were extremely superficial and I maintain absolutely no contact whatsoever with any man I ever dated before him.

Unfortunately, his ex-wife cheated on him, and married her lover the day after their divorce was final.

I just wanted to know, in a general way, what does it take for a man to get over being cheated on by an ex-wife, particularly if it has been many years now, and he still seems to be putting up walls?

I think she’s just scared, which is frustrating because I really am interested and would like to see where this goes.

I try to tell her this, but I can tell she thinks it’s just a line.